My Gyn Onc was totally against HRT so I had to see my family practitioner about it (normal GYNs don't like to see me as they'd rather my Gyn Onc handle my case-I'm fun like that). She has been awesome about it. First we tried an Estradiol patch which worked great BUT once I started radiation, the radiation actually burned the adhesive to my skin. OUCH!!! So she put me on a spray, Evamist. I honestly don't know if any of it even got in my system. The past week was just downright ugly!! I didn't want to get out of bed, I dreaded spending time with my kids (TOTALLY not me), I woke up every morning with a migraine, I didn't want to eat, and bawled every night from being so exhausted and scared of what was going on with me. I seriously was just hating life and felt like I was losing it. Everything overwhelmed me and I just could not think straight.
Luckily I have an awesome husband who pegged it and said, "Its the hormones". Seriously my brain was just not functioning-I couldn't make the simplest decisions, so realizing it was the hormones was just out of my realm. My doctor was out this week so I had to make the decision on my own to go back on the patch. Its been a complete 360 just from yesterday. I still had a bit of a headache this morning but I was able and willing to get out of bed, pumped to play with the kiddos (we had an AWESOME day with the beautiful weather), excited to get work done, and not dragging or moping around the house. Sooooo glad to be human again!! I know it will be a few months before my levels get to where they need to be but even just one day has made such a difference-it can only get better!!!
I prayed so hard the first 4 days of this week, just asking God to bring light to what was going on and show me a solution (now thanking him for my awesome husband). I couldn't even handle taking care of the kids and it scared me. Then it made me really angry cuz there have been times in the past 6 months when I physically could not take care of them and I really thought I was beyond that point so I was full of anger that my babies were having to suffer and that I wasn't enjoying them like I normally do. Then I just piled on all kinds of super mom expectations and hated myself for not living up to it-yep pure craziness. Me without hormones is just not a pretty sight. Ben even said a few times that I was scaring him, and I know he was beyond maxed on stress having to pick up after me. Glad to be back on track for everyone's sake:)
Bouncing to a totally different subject... would anyone be interested in a puppy? She is a 5 mo old female blue heeler/lab mix-mainly lab, will probably grow to be about 3/4 of a full grown lab. Super duper sweet, very affectionate (LOVES tummy scratches), needs someone that can play with her and take her for walks-at this point we just can't handle it, plus she is a little big for Bella. She is very well behaved, obeys commands, is great with other dogs (haven't seen her around cats), and loves to play fetch. We got her for Bella's bday but Bella is just too intimidated by her size to even play with her. She is still in the puppy stage of nimbling so she can't be around Hunter and would need a home without real young children. She is just full of love and such a sweetheart that its hard to let her go but we know that we just can't give her what she needs. She'd be an awesome hunting dog if anyone is interested in that aspect, and is very trainable.